About Me

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I placed my daughter in an open adoption in 2002. I started this blog in 2004 as a place to journal and eventually I became part of a community. The community has moved on, but I have decided to come back.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Lifebook

I finished my daughter's lifebook tonight and ordered it through the photo website I use.

It was difficult to finish and of course I couldn't find the book I used as a template so I just wrapped it up.

Now that her parents are telling her who I am, something like a lifebook may be appropriate. I hope her parents approve. Usually the adoptive parents write it so I hope it's not too focused on me.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be watching the mail. I had it sent to me so I can look at it before I give it to them. I'll probably mail it. Her mom has read most of the text already and she said she liked it so it should be fine. I only added a few sentences at the end.

I can't believe I actually finished it.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Hungry

I met my first real live birthmother tonight. Someone from my online group was in my area.
I went out to dinner with her and her husband and then we came back to my house for a little while.
It was really wonderful to meet them. I was a bit nervous because entertaining is really not my thing and I felt bad because they had such a long drive to get to me, but I think it was okay.
What struck me was how hungry they both were for information about my experiences with adoption. It's like that real life validation is just so important. We support each other online, but it's different when it's a real person.
It wasn't the emotional experience I expected it to be, but we talked a lot. I imagined us embracing in a big hug as soon as we saw each other, but I guess we're both pretty reserved so we didn't. We did hug goodbye, though.
I wish I could meet more birthmothers or at least see some regularly. It may be time to try to find a local group again. We need to come out of hiding.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Birthmother's Day article

It's really nice to see something like this in the newspaper.

Plus, I thought some of you might want to learn more about birthmothers and Mother's Day.

As the article notes, Mother's Day falls second only to the child's birthday as the hardest day for birthmothers. My day yesterday was no exception. In fact, I found it harder than her birthday.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

You're My Mother

Today has been a hard day.

But......I just got off the phone with my daughter. Up until now, I don't think her parents had explained who I was.

The first words out of her mouth were "You're my mother."

My heart broke.

"You're my birthmother. I grew in your belly," she went on.

She then went on to chatter about her day. She was talkative tonight.

So she knows. A big turning point for all of us.

I guess I'd better finish that lifebook.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Happy Birthmother's Day!

A little late in the day, but today was Birthmother's Day.

If you know a birthmother, remember her this weekend.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Mother's Day Card

Just a short post today.

I got a Mother's Day card from my daughter and her family today.

Her mom has such a knack for finding the perfect card. One year she sent me one that said "ma mere" on the front. I'm french so it was perfect.

This year she sent one about two kinds of families- ones we are born to and ones we create.

Very special. Very sweet. And my daughter colored in it for me.

Today was a really good day.