About Me

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I placed my daughter in an open adoption in 2002. I started this blog in 2004 as a place to journal and eventually I became part of a community. The community has moved on, but I have decided to come back.

Monday, July 28, 2008


My daughter's birthfather has a son from a previous relationship.
Lately my daughter is asking questions about that and is wanting to meet her brother.
I've had no luck contacting her birthfather in months, but I emailed again asking him to send some recent pictures. He's never been willing to send anything I've asked for, but hopefully for our daughter's sake he will this time.
Her mom said the lifebook I made her has helped a lot.
I just feel so sad for her.

Monday, July 21, 2008


My daughter finished kindergarten this year. I can't believe how old she's getting. I don't want her to grow up.

Her last few messages and calls were all about when I was coming. I love that she asks me to visit and tells me she misses me and sends me kisses over the phone.

We're heading there his weekend for hr end of kindergarten party.

I can't wait to see her.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My NYC Visit

I saw my daughter again this weekend because her parents got me tickets to see Wicked on Broadway.

Most of the time was spent away from her, but I did get some time with her.

Right now she's really testing her boundaries in a disciplinary way and I have to say that my boyfriend and I were overwhelmed.

On another note, one notable comment from her: "You should have paid for [my daycare] because you're my real mom."

She also said she should have a sleepover at my house. Maybe it will happen.

She's really struggling with the real mom thing. I don't feel up to writing more about it, but there is a bunch going on in my head about that.

Anyway, we went to a local farm on Sunday. They were having a special event with lots of activities so it was fun.

We're going back again in two more weeks for the annual trip to the pool. They were hoping we'd have our suits this weekend, but we didn't. I'm glad because our trip to the city was exhausting and we barely got through the visiting on Sunday.

With all these visits, I'm feeling quite spoiled this summer.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

My Visit

Right now my daughter is going through a birthmother obsession.

I get phone calls calling me Miss Birthmother. She tells her mom she can't talk o me because I'm her birthmother.

Pre=party, my daughter explained adoption to me very matter-of-factly using her own story, and told me about her explanation to a friend.

Her mom prepared me before the guests arrived.

I helped get things ready and bring things out.

The first guest arrived. My daughter ran over: "Do you want to meet my birthmother?"

Her mom said my daughter thinks it's cool that she gets to see me.

The party was mildly awkward.

Like her birthday, I got the , "Which kid is yours?" Because my daughter was being open, I had to say "I'm little Poor_Statue's birthmother." The response: "Interesting."

For the water balloon toss, my daughter insisted that I be her partner: "My birthmother is my partner." Most of the time she was focused on her friends, but this was the first event during which she invited me into her play.

At one point, one of the dads asked me what a birthmother was so I told him. He then asked if I'd seen Baby Mama. There was also a brief discussion of Juno after which a different dad said that the only negative was how they made it all seem so easy.

Later the same dad approached me to tell me how well I handled the other dad. He thought it was insensitive and stupid to ask what a birthmother was. We spoke for a bit. He was really nice to me.

I liked all the dads more than the moms, but overall the party was a good one. It didn't wrap up until 11 at night.

During the party, my daughter's mom spoke to me privately. She got all teary eyed as she talked about how much she loves that we are family and how much it means to her and my daughter that I was there that day.

The following day was uneventful. We ate breakfast. We went shopping for a new bike. My daughter told me I had to stay until lunch time. I did. I made the long ride home. This time I was grumpy instead of sad. It lasted all night. I'm not sure why that was the response.

I wonder how long his phase will last.