About Me

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I placed my daughter in an open adoption in 2002. I started this blog in 2004 as a place to journal and eventually I became part of a community. The community has moved on, but I have decided to come back.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I Have No Words

Just as I climbed into bed last night, my phone rang.

It was fairly early. I figured it was my stepmom calling about wedding stuff. We have a three hour time difference.

It was my daughter.

They're on vacation in Hawaii right now.

I asked her what she was doing in Hawaii.

"Crying because I'm missing you."

Friday, August 01, 2008

Tough Decision

I canceled my visit with my daughter this weekend.

It was a very tough decision.

My grandfather is in the hospital in critical care. Right now it's day to day. My sister is flying in tonight from across the country.

I had planned to go anyway because it's not like there is anything I can do about it just by staying home. Plus, my daughter is really focused on me these days and I don't know how she'll take it.

The thing is my daughter's birthmother obsession is part of why I don't want to go. I just don't think I could handle all her current questions and comments with my grandfather on my mind. On the other hand, it's quite possible that a fun day with my daughter would be just what I need.

For me the biggest thing was that I'd hate to be four hours away visiting with them and get a call that my grandfather didn't make it.

I just hope my daughter doesn't react badly.

Edit: My grandfather came home from the hospital on Tuesday, August 12! Yay!