About Me

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I placed my daughter in an open adoption in 2002. I started this blog in 2004 as a place to journal and eventually I became part of a community. The community has moved on, but I have decided to come back.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Telling

I've posted a few times about whether or not to tell people I'm a birthmother.  I'm thinking about it again.


Next Monday, I start a new job.  Once again, I have to decide whether or not to tell.  I'm a teacher.  Kids ask if you have kids.


At my current school, I said nothing my first year.  I did tell one staff member.  I debated about coming out at the beginning of my second year, but chose not to.  I did tell some kids that I had a kid though.  I answered inconsistently when they'd ask.  Sometimes, I'd say yes, I have a daughter.  Sometimes I'd say no, I don't have any kids.  


I think I'm going to say yes at this job.  I don't have to say anything about placing her for adoption.  I can honestly say she doesn't live with me.  I feel like by denying it, I close myself off from everyone.  I have trouble making connections with people, including my students, and I feel like part of it is that I'm living a lie.


I will be happier with a picture of her on my desk.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Birthfather

Right now, my daughter wants to know more about her birthfather.  A few months ago, when I said I didn't know how to reach him, she suggested I call everyone in his town until I found someone who knew him.


About a month ago, my daughter's mother found him on facebook.  I decided to friend request him, he accepted, and we ended spending a couple of hours IMing.  


I excitedly let my daughter's mother know he was willing to have contact.  She approached him through facebook, and eventually, my daughter was able to send him her own message.


My daughter was so excited.  She told me all about the questions she asked.  I haven't heard whether or not he responded.  I hope he has.  It means so much to her.